ERIC’S SONGBOOK

I never knew the pain of failing, well at least, academically.  I never knew the language of getting a grade below 75% in high school (told you that I was an ordinary student, it was just that my Christian Living teacher in Sophomore year high school took the liberty of guessing my grade) nor a grade of 0.0 in college. 

Being a teacher/professor in the past seven years, I learned that the failure of a student is also the failure of the teacher.  It takes two to tango.  Whether you have failed to reprimand the student or whether the student is just outright uncooperative, failing leaves a mark.  I am guilty of failing a handful of students, that I am not afraid to admit, simply because they did not meet the standards set by the department or school.  Before, I get affected by their pleas come Course Card Distribution day that I would even sympathize or empathize with them to great strides.  Seven years down the road, I am numbed by them.  For one thing, numbers don’t lie.  Blame Microsoft Excel, your grade just didn’t make the cut.

Adopting this mindset that the academic life has callously taught me, I guess I have obtained my fair share of karma.  To my former and current students who are reading this, I didn’t fail any of my academics (just yet) in the Ph.D. program, thank you very much.  I still have a record of bringing home a trimestral GPA of 4.0 both in the undergraduate and graduate levels and I have the transcript of records to prove it.  When the teacher fails the student, things will never be the same again.  There are things in my life that unraveled suprisingly in my environment in the past few months that changed the way I see myself as an educator and as a student.  At my age, I am still learning a lot of things.  Some fell short of my expectations.  Some, I just lost respect for even though I have looked up to them as idols all my life.  What’s even worse is that they make decisions for you and about you without your consent and it changed your life and the way you see things practically forever.  I always tell myself to be careful of the words you say, you will never know how these will affect others.  Some of them you will carry to your grave.  Some of them will motivate you to reach higher.  Some of them will leave you scarred for life.   

Before I leave you with the usual lyrics from a song, let me share with you this excerpt called Searing Words from a book titled Coffee Break Devotions: Cappuccino given to me by a friend, Paula Luna, as gift in Christmas 2004.  Paula and I have worked together in the CHED Zonal Research Center in the same year as Project and Research Assistants.  I sincerely thank her for this book which inspires me to do good in everything I do. 

Searing Words

Seven-year-old Ricky began to cook dinner for his family of four.  It was the early 1900s.  His father had become ill, and he was the natural choice.  He had a younger brother, Tony, who wasn’t fond of domestic tasks.  He would rather read or do puzzles.  Tony’s parents believed him to be intelligent and weren’t stern with him regarding his chores.  Ricky, being very adept at the household tasks, carried the weight.  Ricky was creative, a good artist–and he was also bright.  When it came time for the boys, who were close in age, to go to college, their parents saw fit for Tony to attend, but not Ricky.  He was heartbroken.  His father said to him, "Well, you’re not as smart as Tony.  But don’t worry, you’re a good laborer."

Ricky is now 90.  He has lived a full and exciting life.  He’s an avid reader and has an amazing mind.  Eighty years later, he still talks about those words from his father.  He still believes he’s not very smart.  The words we use have great power.  We must take care to use that power for good, especially when we are talking about the characteristics or abilities of another person.

Lastly, I would like to share the lyrics to this song fittingly called No Pressure Over Cappuccino from Alanis Morissette’s MTV Unplugged album released in the Fall of 1999.  It wasn’t until now, this very phase in my life, when I realized how strongly the lyrics reflect a great deal of me.  When I was 20, I thought I had the world on my shoulders.  Now that I am turning 30 next year, heck, the blackhole that is left of the world gobbled me up and I didn’t even know it.  No pressure, no pressure at all.  The worse is over.

No Pressure Over Cappuccino - Alanis Morissette (1999)

And you’re like a 90’s Jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you?

And God bless you in you’re travels
in your conquests and queries…

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