ERIC’S SONGBOOK

As a kid, I always wished upon a star.  I was led to believe that these stars represent the souls of the faithful departed, now up in the heavens, guiding us with their light.  When the human spirit has received some beating for quite some time, the path towards recovery could be long and winding.  The journey is longer than what I have expected.  Eight months is quite a long time.  Prayers are answered sooner or later and the balance that I have missed in the past year is something that I have regained.  My prayer for deliverance is being answered one day at a time, so far so good.  Life is not perfect and it is not easy as it seems but I’m glad that the company of family and true friends goes a long way.  They are the stars that have been responsible for leading me out of disillusionment.

It has taken me over a month to compose another blog entry, hopefully, of good sense since I was so preoccupied in finding my spiritual center once more.  Life has offered me a healthy dose of hollow promises before but now I have gained the strength to take it all in.  If ever I find myself in some new place, some new adventure and some new chapter in my life, facing a similar predicament, now I know that I am better equipped, emotionally and spiritually.

I am back in the block again.  I am ready to face the world again.  I have so many activities lined up that I am on my toes all the time.  I spend weekends with my family and friends again.  I am excited to buy new CDs again.  I am seeing good movies again.  And if you are one cynic about to dampen my day, you oughta get out of my damn way.  Heck, I am excited to get Michael Jackson’s "Thriller 25" next week, the 25th anniversary edition of the biggest selling album of all time.  Ahhhhhhhhhh, the memories of my childhood.  I still remember my dad coming home from work with a cassette of "Thriller" which he bought from the now defunct Music Nook in Makati Cinema Square.  He would play it in our 1979 flesh coloured Mitsubishi Lancer with plate number NDM-952.

My soul has fed on the meaning of these two songs for a while.  The first one is by the Canadian songwriter-singer, Amanda Marshall, called "Believe In You" from her 1999 album "Tuesday’s Child".  This song goes out to all my family and friends.  She hits the right note in me when she sang that some people can’t move ahead since they are paralyzed with fear.  Roosevelt once said that the only thing that we have to fear is fear itself.  In this life, the truth is that if you do not believe in yourself, no one else ever will.  The next song is called "Star" by Bryan Adams from one of my favorite movies "Jack" which stars Robin Williams.  I have always figured that my twenties is passing me by faster than what I have expected and I have always felt the need to make the most out of it.  Just like Jack, who aged four times the normal rate, I have matured four times as much over the years.  People will always see me as a kid, but don’t be deceived by my innocent-looking smile and my childlike ways, I have a story to tell of a boy who became a father to his kid brother at a tender age of 25 and how he survived the test of time and fate.  I hope whatever stars are up there, I would find whatever it is that I’m looking for in my life.  "Star" is a song I wholeheartedly and selfishly dedicate to this kid named Eric.

Believe in You - Amanda Marshall (1999)

Somewhere there’s a river
Looking for a stream
Somewhere there’s a dreamer
Looking for a dream
Somewhere there’s a drifter
Trying to find his way
Somewhere someone’s waiting
To hear somebody say

I believe in you
I can’t even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is show you
I believe in you
And there are just so many ways that
I believe in you
Baby, what else can I do but believe in you
Believe in you
All I want to know is you believe
Believe in you

Bryan Adams - "Star" (1996)

What cha wanna be - when you grow up
What cha gonna do - when your time is up
What cha gonna say - when things go wrong
What cha wanna do - when you’re on your own

Everybody wants some kindness - everybody needs a break
We all need a shinin’ star when things get hard to take
So tonight we’re gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before