ERIC’S SONGBOOK

Everyone prays for a miracle to happen in their lives at some point.  The same thing holds true with me.  My faith, at those desperate times, would even challenge the laws and principles of structured learning–science, logic, mathematics, philosophy. 

Last night, before going to sleep, I watched Lorenzo’s Oil, an Oscar-nominated film released in 1992 which stars Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon.  What struck me most is the tagline of the movie, "Some people make their own miracles".   The film tackles the story of a couple and their child suffering from adrenoleukodystrophy (ALD), a terminal disease that involves the degeneration of the brain’s myelin due to long chains of fats that dissolve it.  Research shows that this disease is genetic and caused by the X chromosome passed by the mother to the child.  The family struggles in challenging the views of modern science, in particular, medicine.  The parents of the child struggled throughout all adversaries life flung at them, from skepticism to conventionalism.  In the end, they made a medical revolution possible that gave hope to all kids suffering from this disease. 

Watching this movie made me value good health and compassion for this sick.  It made me recall my dad’s dying days as well.  But at the same time, despite this valuable realization, it made me fear that someday, when I am about to depart this world, I might suffer the same too.  My only hope and wish is that may God make it swift for me.  I just don’t want to burden and strain family and friends taking care of me.  Though the human body is the temple of the soul, it can be a prison too due to its physical limitations.  In trying times, I always tell myself that life is a mystery to be lived and not to be solved.  All it takes is one miracle to make it all better.  Un milagro. 

Visions of a Sunset - Shawn Stockman

Oh Yeah
Lived all my days trying to embrace
Life with my heart by all the beauty
I feel and create it spins and moves
Flows at my pace telling its story
From the tear running down my face

It’s all I need in my life
It’s all I need and no one
Can take your place by my side
You’re all inside of me
Visions of a sunset just appear when
I close my eyes
Takes my closer to heaven when the
Flute starts to fly
And the violin cries
We’ll free from all sorrow
Like the wind blows from the sky
Takes me closer to
Heaven when the
Flute starts to fly
And the violin cries

I find it excruciatingly funny that everyday you have to prove your worth.  Sometimes, I just want to throw my hands up and say "I give up".  But I always tell myself to look at the brighter side of things.  It is always easier to look at a glass half-empty than half-full.  I have realized that I need to put myself ahead at times and not to take the front line everyday.  Everyone is busy covering their own butt so why can’t I?  I could get really intoxicatingly selfless at times that I forget my own existence.  Sooner or later, I pity myself for doing so.  It is a good thing that I have come to terms with myself.  I promised myself to take things slowly this year.  No rush. 

Time really flies so fast that it takes your innocence away with it.  When I look at my old pictures, I realized that I wasn’t the same person that I was.  Ironically, living life itself sucks all the life out of you.  After all these years, the most valuable lesson I have learned is to trust yourself.  No one knows the language of pain you are experiencing but yourself.  Moreso, you have to count on no one but yourself.  If you can move mountains by yourself, then by all means please do.  And keep your ace up your sleeve.  Never let your guard down.  Nonetheless, I thank God for the gift of music, movies, and most especially family and friends.  Without these things, I just can’t make any sense out of this senseless world driven mad by the rat race of life.  Lately, I have been listening to U2’s Grammy-winning album named, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, and this song really speaks wisdome beyond its years. 

Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own - U2

Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff
You’re telling me and anyone
You’re hard enough

And it’s you when I look in the mirror
And it’s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own
Sometimes you can’t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

How do you remain strong amidst all life’s challenges? Sure, traveling life’s winding road could get a little hard every now and then.  Sometimes you feel so high, then you feel a bit low.  The good thing about time is that it draws you farther and farther from the past, every second, every minute, every hour.  Ironically, there are times when the past seems to catch up with you.  At such rare times, you are flung to high heavens with nostalgia, making you feel young again, making you recall how naive you were and how vulnerable you were.  Then sooner or later, you feel older, tougher and wiser–a bit more callous to the ways of the world. 

Change unravels right before our eyes.  Sometimes change feels good.  However, more often than not, change shatters our comfort zones.  Welcoming it with open arms is more than an arduous task for a weary soul.  Nonetheless, we all should learn how to…

Climb On (A Back That’s Strong) - Shawn Colvin (1992)

Oh, my soul
Sometimes we don’t know what to do
We work so hard
Being tough on our own
But now it’s me and you
Let’s give it up
Sad bones
‘Cause we all fall on hard times
But you don’t have to stand up all alone
Just put your hand in mine

Oh, I don’t know
Sometimes we try too hard to see
But we got one down now
One more to go
That’s when you say
To me

Last January 2, I won two tickets to the premiere screening of Eragon in Shangri-la courtesy of www.clickthecity.com .  Call it buena mano for 2007!  I even joined the contest before the film started.  All I had to do was to answer: Joss Stone.  This jazz songstress has a cameo role in the film.  I won an Eragon gift pack consisting of a baseball cap, t-shirt and pouch.  In my spare time, I do nothing but join a lot of online contests.  I find it fun and rewarding.  As of writing, mom and I just came home from the theatre and I must say that Christopher Paolini’s masterpiece is quite good, if only The Lord Of The Rings weren’t released years earlier. 

Before seeing the movie, I went back to school to check on some things before the term starts on Monday.  I also had to settle something with my bank.  After which, I went to Surfshop in Salcedo Village, Makati to claim the tickets.  Then, I boarded a bus headed Northbound and got off in SM Megamall where I found a rare CD single of Sophie B. Hawkins’ Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover for an amazingly low price of P50.  This song reminds me so much of my Grade 7 days, I wonder where is she now?  I can remember that she was nominated for the Best New Artist plum alongside with Jon Secada, Kris Kross, Arrested Development in the February 1993 Grammys.  Across Odyssey was a McDonalds where I had a hot fudge sundae (my personal favorite).  Then I trekked to Shangri-La where I bought a Mathematics Notebook and a Pilot V5 Tecpen in National Bookstore for my Differential Equations/Dynamic Programming class next term. 

Things to look forward to this week:

• Blood Diamond, starring Jennifer Connelly,  Djimon Hounsou and Leonardo DiCaprio, opens on January 8…and so does Term 3 of the school year.

Keep Holding On (from Eragon) - Avril Lavigne