ERIC’S SONGBOOK

Two weeks of school have come and gone and I’m battling a bad case of cold.  Last Sunday, I woke up as if my body weren’t my own and my head and vision were spinning.  The day after, I still mustered all the energy I had just to go to work.  The fact that I have carried on three teaching hours and still managed to attend a three-hour meeting after made me feel more miserable than ever.  I despise the rainy days and all the air-borne bacteria and viruses they bring.  The irony of it all:  I am religiously taking my Vitamin B, C and E pills everyday aside from my usual dose of multivitamins, a slew of antioxidants, and juices.  I guess too much work has finally caught me offguard. 

Last night, a manghihilot popped out all the globules of lamig in my back.  Call me superstitious but she has this unique way of detecting globules of knots (or lamig) in my back.  First, she mumbles some form of chant or incantation and then with her sheet of paper, she wipes my back with it and if it sticks, there goes your knot.  She will then apply some herbal oil and massage it away till it pops.  And to my surprise, I did feel better a few minutes later.  I was able to regain sensation of my overworked body.  Believe me, the stress is of gargantuan proportions and I might reach my breaking point if I push myself any harder.  Now, I only have the swollen lymph nodes to worry over and this nose running farther than a country mile. 

In times when health failed me, it was my faith in God who kept me going and so does my mom’s tender loving care and cooking.  It is in these times than I am able to contemplate that without Him, I am nothing.  I am no devout Catholic but there is a part of me that belives in a Higher Power.  There are things in this world that are beyond my frail and faulty human capabilities.  Sometimes, complete surrender is the key.  It reminds me that life isn’t always work, music, movies, books and the like that fit my daily routine.  My dad never saw cancer coming when he was strong and well.  But seeing him accept God in his last days brought some form of solace to my heart.  Witnessing such things at a tender age of 25 has left me forever humbled and prepared for all times.

To soothe my weary mind and body, listening to a Norah Jones CD has always been the wisest course of action. 

Humble Me - Norah Jones

Went out on a limb
Gone too far
Broke down at the side of the road
Stranded at the outskirts and the sun’s creepin’ up

You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
I’m on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
So, please, please, forgive me
You humble me

It has been a very hectic first week of classes.  One week down, thirteen more to go.  I’m glad that DLSU re-hired me and renewed my contract for one more year for my second year of probation.  That’s good news.  At least I know that my employer is still interested in my services.  I also received my latest ITEO evaluation–it is a whopping 4.8150 out of a 5.000! I was so surprised, it is a near-perfect score!  I exhumed all my past ITEO evaluations and it is my fourth consecutive Outstanding evaluation in little over a year (all from teaching COMCALC, QUATECH & PRODMAN in 2005).  It gives me another reason to celebrate and be thankful.  It really amazes me, I have never been so preoccupied in my entire life before and I am achieving things way too great for my feeble human mind to comprehend.  I can’t even obtain those marks from teaching Basic Algebra.  The mystery of life!  I always tell myself that life is a mystery to be lived and not to be solved. 

Don’t get me wrong though.  I was stuck in limbo for more than three miserable years.  It is just that I am so happy that all the prayers, hard work, and sleepless nights are starting to pay off.  I have been broke, lost, hungry, depressed, used and abused and I have no plans of going (nor even looking) back…just moving forward.  At first, I thought that the pain was something I can’t get over with but time heals all wounds caused by the past.  Diamonds are what they are if it weren’t for the extreme heat and pressure they have to go through.  A piece of wood that makes a furniture won’t be such if it weren’t for the scratching of the sandpaper.  I just hope that I am worthy of becoming a diamond in this career that I have chosen and a furniture worthy of becoming an antique collector’s item in my latter years. 

I come from a family that values hardwork.  I don’t have a conglomerate of businesses to inherit, fancy cars to drive around, villas or mansions to live in.  And I guess, this kind of deprivation motivates me to aspire higher and higher and to do more and more.  Still, I leave everything to fate…thy will be done.

Cheers to a fruitful term ahead!  At this point, being the self-absorbed, egocentric, obnoxious person that I am, I whole-heartedly dedicate this next song from my childhood to myself. 

Love…Thy Will Be Done - Martika

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run
No longer can I resist the guiding light
It gives me the power to keep up the fight
Love…thy will be done
Since I have found you my life has just begun
And I see all of your creations as one
Perfect complex
No one less beautiful or more special than the next
We are all blessed and so wise to accept
Thy will love be done

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run (no, no, no)
Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done…
Thy will love be done…
Thy will love be done

Things to do this week:

• Monday:  Discuss Market Equilibrium Point in COMCALC and Decision Making Under Risk in QUATECH.  After school, buy Fergie’s (of The Black Eyed Peas) solo album, The Dutchess; sing my lungs out and dance my booty to London Bridge at home and while in the shower hereon as forms of stress relievers (lol). 
• Tuesday:  Eat, sleep and eat in preparation for a hectic 7:00 am - 9:00 pm Wednesday.  Prepare lessons at home. 
• Wednesday:  Administer Quiz #1 in COMCALC.  Check papers and record scores.  Prepare Quiz #1 and discusss Marginal Analysis in QUATECH.  Attend Graduate School in the evening.  Plastado pagdating sa bahay na naman.
• Thursday:  Prepare lessons at home and rest.  Watch Step Up (the film’s soundtrack is way too cool–such features Sean Paul, Kelis, Chris Brown, Ciara and more) in Alabang Town Center or Festival Supermall should time, money and energy levels permit.  I am such a sucker for musically-oriented films.  I might as well take some street dancing lessons and hip-hop dancing and integrate them as teaching methodologies and strategies (lol). 
• Friday:  Discuss Conic Sections in COMCALC and Decision Trees in QUATECH.
• Saturday:  Attend Graduate School. 

In my unrelenting frenzy of buying CDs the past few days, I found a gem in my unplanned purchase of india.arie’s latest opus, Testimony - Vol.1: Life & Relationship last Monday.  This is how an R&B record should be, philosophical and deep, yet still enjoyable and relaxing to listen to.  My favorite tracks include The Heart of the Matter and Wings of Forgiveness.  Paying attention to the lyrics of the latter made me think of india as a messenger of hope, faith, love and sympathy as she makes points of reference to Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and Jesus Christ (see lyrics at the end of this entry).  In its entirety, the record would make a great candidate in next year’s Grammys. 

Yesterday, I patiently waited for my course cards in my graduate school classes.  Maybe it is just beginner’s luck, but I have to thank the Lord for His blessings.  I could have never made it without his guidance, He was the One carrying me all along a very hectic first term in school, I couldn’t have done it without the Lord’s divine intervention. 

• ECO511D (Differential Calculus) - 4.0
• ECO512D (Integral Calculus) - 4.0
• GPA - 4.000
• CGPA - 4.000

It has been six years since I took home a GPA of 4.000 from my MANPRA3 days.  But I have to admit, this feat the Lord and I have accomplished is one tough act to follow.  I guess expecting less and doing more served well as my guiding principle so far.  I hope and pray that I will not burn myself out and eventually sustain this propensity to work and study.  Geeky Eric strikes again! :)

Lina (who was taking her graduate classes in St. Scholastica, my former employer) and I went to Makati to unwind and stroll around yesterday after getting my course cards.  The entire Ayala Center went on sale and the place is flooded with a slew of people (and my past students as well).  I was able to buy VCDs of The End of the Affair, which stars Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes; Fun with Dick & Jane, which features Jim Carrey; Last Holiday which bills Queen Latifah and LL Cool J.  From Powerbooks, I was able to purchase Anne Rice’s Interview With The Vampire, a book that I have always wanted since I was 15.  At that time, I was too young to see the movie.  I rented the Betamax and borrowed the book (which I never finished reading) and was astonished to see striking similarities and strong parallelisms between the two.  I guess everything in life has its own place under the sun in its due time.  This coming weekend, I am anticipating my copies of Justin Timberlake’s Futuresex/Lovesounds and John Mayer’s Continuum CDs.   

Wings of Forgiveness - india.arie

I just want you to know
After everything that we’ve been through
I just want you to know
That I still love you
That I still love you:

I still love you
I want you to know
I still love you
Want you to know
I still love you
(And I always will love you)
And I wanna let you know
I forgive you
I wanna let you know
That I still love you
Want you to know
I still love you
I just want you to know
I still love you
Want you to know
I still love you
Want you to know
I still love you
And I wanna let you know
I forgive you
I wanna let you know
I still love you

The 2nd Term draws near and as always rest days are over sooner or later.  Whilst I recharge and reenergize what’s left of me after a hectic 1st term, I would like to take time to unveil my 2nd Term Wishlist.  Last year (see link below), my wishlist wasn’t fully met but I can say that with 90% confidence, I was pretty much satisfied with the results (perform t-test here after stating Ho and Ha) [lol].

http://erichalcon.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2005/09/2nd_term_wishli.html

Poor Eric wishes that:

1. The 2nd Term will be less stressful and less hectic.  Every term break, I can feel the weight of exhaustion take its toll (imagine Poor Eric with a bad case of morning breath after sleeping for more than 10 hours).  I realized that heading an office is no joke, it requires and drains so much energy.  I don’t want to spend Christmas break nursing a cold or a sprained ankle or my body serving as an incubator of the chicken pox virus just like what I have experienced last year (after teaching 15 units).
2. Graduate School will be a breeze.  Last term, I had the privilege of taking two subjects that I am very much familiar with (of course, after teaching COMCALC for several times already, parabolas chase me in my sleep).  But now, Mathematical Statistics and Linear Algebra are partially Greek to me.  With God’s guidance, I can muster all my intellectual capabilities to hurdle these subjects (with flying colors, I hope).
3. He will have enough money to buy CDs/VCDs/DVDs this Christmas season.  November is notorious for being the month when the commercially over-hyped and over-rated music and films hit the record shelves.  As early as October, Evanescence will be releasing their sophomore album called The Open Door which features the suprisingly good dark ballad Call Me When You’re Sober.  And that’s just for starters.  I am also planning to get VCDs of X-Men 3, Superman Returns and more popcorn movies while pigging out on Christmas break.  Yup, it is that time of the year to be the most self-absorbed being on the planet.  Speaking of Christmas, I can’t wait till October for the release of Sarah McLachlan’s Yuletide CD called Wintersong.  McLachlan’s voice is so soothing that you just can’t help it but have your ears glued to the speakers.  Her music is something one should listen to after a tiring day at work.  In addition to all these, her songwriting is done in an unconventional style that it requires poetic analysis.  How much more alluring her music would be if she does justice to Christmas standards?  Wintersong opens with her rendition of John Lennon’s Happy X’Mas (War is Over). 
4. 99.9% of his COMCALC and QUATECH students would be responsible, honest, hard-working, diligent and supersmart.  I have had my fair share of irresponsible, dishonest and lazy students and they add stress to my life.  At this point in time, I am in no stress-seeking mode. 
5. He will have enough finances to pay for his pension plan premium due on November and insurance premium due on December.  I do save for my future but here is the moral lesson of the story:  never get policies whose due dates are close to each other.  I never thought that they would add pressure to the bills that come monthly like clockwork.  How I wish it is already 2008 so that I am done paying for the former.  I wish I can find a new tutee soon as an alternative source of income.  My current tutee will be leaving for France this week (just in time for the opening of the schoolyear over there) and I will be left with half of my academic career and a fraction of my disposable income….
6. The Christmas season won’t add to the stress.  Buying gifts for family and friends is not an easy task.  Knowing myself, I am have a good idea as to what to buy and for whom that gift is weeks before December sets in.  In a similar case,  I spent the past few days preparing quizzes and lecture notes for next term.  Know the terrain of the battlefield, I always say.  Thus, I come prepared.
7. He could watch a movie in SM Mall of Asia’s IMAX theatre this season.  Yesterday, Malou (my dear cousin) and I took a stroll in SM Mall of Asia just for kicks.  We were like a bunch of lost pups in that place just to satisfy our curiosity.  I wish they would show the latest James Bond film, Casino Royale, in the IMAX theatre this November.  Another frustrated dream of mine is that if ever I get to be an actor, I wish I could be the next James Bond.  I love the cars and the gadgets!  Sad to say, the closest thing I could get to be James Bond in my profession is to use a lot of coupon bond (lol).   
8. I wish that everyone in the family would have good health, spiritual enlightenment and financial prosperity not just the next three months but everyday of their lives.  Material things count for something but they are not everything in this world.  From what I have learned in life, there is nothing like family.  The whole world may never care but your family does. 
9. He will stop gaining weight and start increasing his height.  The good news!  My fat mass is back in its normal range (partially due to the stress in school and to the morning oatmeal diet) but I think I oughta lose some more baggage, around 5 pounds.  I also discovered that if only I wouldn’t slouch and would just stand straight, I am 5′10" tall already (thanks to the measuring machines in Mercury Drug)!   I can remember that back in high school I was short, I was only about 5′6" or 5′7" (and I sucked at basketball).  But it is not apparent due to my short legs and slightly arched back.  If only I could grow two more inches, then I would be a six-footer already!!!  But I guess it is too late, now that I am in my late 20s… sob sob sob…
10. Everyone will find peace, love, happiness, good health and contentment not only this Christmas season but everyday of their lives!

I just got Beyoncé’s "B’Day" today in Odyssey Alabang Town Center today.  Again, the Philippines is ahead by several days than the US street date.  Big-named artists who are bound to release an album usually hit the Philippine retail outlets earlier with their records than the US.  Record companies deliver the initial copies on a Friday while the US will get their dose Tuesday the following week, (I am fervently speaking from experience with 13 years of purchasing music from stores, certified since 1993).  The bonus track, a remix of Check On It, is currently playing in my CD player and it is so catchy.  Other hot tracks from the album are Ring The Alarm (the supposed 2nd single), Upgrade U (again featuring Jay-Z) and of course, the current hit Deja Vu.  However, buyers may be expecting a lengthy release just like Dangerously In Love. They’ll just be frustrated since the album is just comprised of 11 tracks and her thin voice may just give you a migraine.  Still, it is a good buy for all R&B music aficionados. 

Things to do this week:

• Enroll in Ph.D. classes
• Watch The Monster House and The Wicker Man in good theatres.
• Facilitate the Focus Group Discussion (FGD) in Richmonde Hotel, Ortigas on September 8.  Recharge, recharge, recharge, and take my battery of anti-oxidants, vitamins and food supplements in preparation for the onslaught of the next term. 

This next song will be something that I will adopt as a personal guiding philosophy though childish:) :)

Hakuna Matata (from The Lion King)

[TIMON]
Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase

[TIMON]
I say "Matata"