ERIC’S SONGBOOK

I consider myself as an avid collector of music and movies.  Despite my vast collection of VCDs, CDs and (pirated) DVDs, I still have a list that goes on and on ad infinitum.  I am also on the look out for bargains.  Evangelista Street in Bangkal, Makati is lined with thrift shops enough to fulfill my fantasies of rare vinyl records.  If one is lucky enough, you can obtain one of your rarest dream records in near mint condition.  Back in the 90s, having a CD is pure luxury.  The selling price of one is enough to sustain my needs for a week.  In fact, I am jealous of classmates who can afford to buy so many CDs that their room is in abundance with such.  Before, I can barely muster enough savings to purchase what’s on my list.  Now that I have more than enough to buy these dream CDs of mine, they are nowhere to be found.  Sigh, if only CD Warehouse in Greenbelt did not fold, I would have the slightest inkling of where to purchase despite the fact that their prices have highway robbery written all over them.  Below are 10 of the CDs I am very much desperate to get my hands (and ears) on.  If you have a copy to spare, please leave me a comment or two below.  I am willing to purchase them from you at market price.  Though I could always download them as mp3s, nothing beats the personal touch of having your own CD.

I really wish Santa would come early this year…

Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)

Cardinal rule of being a kid raised in the early 90s:  If you don’t know how to headbang, you’re not cool.  Okay, so it was a pretty lame excuse to listen to Nirvana.  But Kurt Cobain really made an indelible mark in the rock scene with the smash hit, Smells Like Teen Spirit.  This rock track became almost every teenager’s anthem as he traverses the path of adolescenthood.  Have you reached nirvana?!?

Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (1993)

I turn to McLachlan’s music to soothe my mind and soul after a hard day’s work.  Though I am fortunate enough to have her 1997 release called Surfacing, her 1993 release boasts of hits like Ice Cream and Possession.  McLachlan has her unique way of comforting her listeners with her caressing voice.  Everyone in this world is really fumbling towards ecstasy, in the very essence of the phrase.

Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club (1994)

Okay, I wore out the cassette.  Having her Grammy-award winning opus would be better than just having her greatest hits since the latter does not feature her hit single, Can’t Cry Anymore.  This CD brings back fun memories of my Sophomore year in high school when music was something I turn to when people treat me bad.  In her words, All I Wanna Do is have some fun…

Melissa Etheridge - Yes I Am (1994)

Strong-willed and angst-driven.  Two words I would describe Etheridge’s 1994 CD.  If I Wanted To, Come To My Window and I’m The Only One are the biggest hits ever to be culled from this album.  Up to now, Yes I Am remains to be her most successful album.  Sadly, my cassette copy barely functions now that it is more than a decade old.

Dionne Farris - Wild Seed, Wild Flower (1994)

Farris started her career as a member of the group Arrested Development.  She graced the group’s career by lending her vocal talent to their biggest hit, Tennessee.  Having gone solo, she landed a deal with Columbia Records and earned her a Top 10 Billboard smash single, I Know.  I am totally hooked to the catchy and repetitive guitar riffs of that song.  I found solace in this record in a turbulent Junior year in high school. 

U2 - The Joshua Tree (1987)

1987 was a year marked by dance music.  Bono and company made a huge difference in the charts as they generated some of their classic hits such as With or Without You and I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (which I can totally attest to my own experience).  Thanks to the Joshua Tree.

Michael Jackson - Dangerous (1991)

Long before the child molestation cases and more nose jobs, Jackson was truly the king of pop.  I have always looked forward to seeing the videos Black Or White and Remember The Time in Video Hit Parade.  With the very artistic and imaginative album cover, Dangerous has always been one of the most definitive albums of my life as a kid. 

Annie Lennox - Diva (1992)

Half of the UK-based group The Eurythmics, Lennox pursued a solo effort in 1992 with Medusa which earned her a Grammy nomination for Album of the Year.  This CD boasts of the classic hits Why, Little Bird and Walking On Broken Glass.  I can remember Video Hit Parade play dance remixes of her videos on Sunday mornings. 

Janet Jackson - Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 (1989)

This album is one of the most successful pop records of all time.  Having generated more than 5 hit singles, Rhythm Nation propelled Janet Jackson’s career to newer heights.  Thanks to hit singles such as Escapade, Black Cat, (Love Will Never Do) Without You, Come Back To Me, Rhythm Nation and Miss You Much.  The album’s impressive showing made it a mainstay on the charts until 1991.  The original mixes of this song are nowhere to be found in Janet Jackson’s design of a decade 1986/1996.  As I always say, the original is always better. 

Amy Grant - Heart In Motion (1991)

I seldom dig gospel music but boy, after hearing Amy Grant’s voice in the 1991 airplay hit, That’s What Love Is For, really changed my mind.  It was one of those rare songs that made me a sucker for ballads.  When I was a child, radios here and there would play Baby Baby and Every Heartbeat.  Grant is one of those rare performers who enunciate the lyrics of her songs with sheer clarity. 

Tomorrow will be the start of the rest of my life.  The first term commences and I am a student once more.  I have finally taken the big leap and I have my two feet to go with it.  I am hoping that I have made the right decision of pursuing further studies while spearheading an office.  I am praying that God will guide me in these endeavors.  I am wishing that I wouldn’t be as lonely as I go on with my life.  I am optimistic that things will go just fine.  The next four years of my existence may seem mediocre compared to a politician, or a star athlete, or a rock star, or a Hollywood actor, but I like it just the way it is.  Always look forward and put your best foot in the same direction.

When I was a 10-year old kid, I would hear FM radios play this upbeat song (see lyrics below) from Gloria Estefan.  In the late 80s, pop music was best characterized by dance music.  I remember my cousins sport the big hair, tight jeans and all in that era that seemed devoid of any, gulp, fashion.  My science teacher in elementary asked us to look into the negative effects brought about by adolescents and adults using Spray Net/Hair Net to the ozone layer (to wit, see the album cover featured here).  Estefan was the front-runner of the band, Miami Sound Machine, and in 1989, she finally released her first album as a solo artist.  Entitled Cuts Both Ways, the album generated four hit singles.  My sincerest thanks to Ate Marie Halcon, my dear cousin, for introducing me to her music when I was a child.  Ate, I still don’t know how to play Cuts Both Ways in the piano ;)  I remember my cousin play her cassette of this album when I slept over in her parents’ place in Marikina, the summer before I entered high school.  I was able to get a copy of the CD in December 2004 in a rummage sale of unwanted items in Makati Cinema Square.  What are the chances of finding one in a more than a decade’s time?!?  I should’ve bought The New Kids On The Block’s Step By Step album to go with it.  Hahahahahaha.  You may laugh all you want but these are indeed the music of my childhood.  Anyway, contemplating on the hopeful lyrics of this song gives me this sense of purpose of moving forward in an optimistic manner.  Music has always been an integral part of my life, through thick and thin. 

Get On Your Feet - Gloria Estefan

You say I know it’s a waste of time
There’s no use trying
So scared that life is gonna pass you by
Your spirit dying

(Chorus 2 out)

Lately, I wake up feeling down and out.  It could be hormones but, often than not, the alienating feeling of sadness was similar to how I felt when I was 15 or 16.  Things are going well, yet, I feel so sad.  When one is an adolescent, there are days when you feel that you are alone in this world and no one ever completely understands you.  Eleven years later, I thought I have outgrown that pain or insecurity, but I was wrong.  Unlike when I was in high school, I have every valid reason why I should feel that way.  In the words of the band R.E.M., high school is a portal to hell.  Now, my career is going fine and everyone in the family is doing okay but why do I feel the same way?  Heck, perhaps this is what they call quarter-life crisis. 

Right now, I need to focus.  The school year is about to start and I have an office under my wing.  Moving from place to place adds to my dose of sadness.  I can remember when I changed departments and switched jobs, they added to the pressure.  In addition, I will be starting my Ph.D. in Business next week.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a freshman once more, sporting an ID #106.  First stop: Differential and Integral Calculus.  I am not expecting myself to ace this subject though I have taught COMCALC several times before.  The pressure is on.  Let us just hope and pray that with God’s guidance, pressure is something I can crack. 

On a religious note, I had the chance to listen to the Soundtrack of Touched By An Angel.  I found the CD while choosing some song to rip to my mp3 player.  When I was a teenager, the show never failed to bring a smile on my face.  It even showed me the more human side of life.  My favorite song in the album is I Don’t Know Why by folk-pop singer Shawn Colvin.  The track was originally recorded for Colvin’s 1992 release, Fat City.  The lyrics are so rich in meaning that I actually find it very inspiring.  Loneliness is nothing but a fleeting shadow.  When loneliness was all I knew, music was always there to cheer me up.  Sometimes, life can be so hard to comprehend, but I guess life is a mystery to be lived and not to be solved.

I Don’t Know Why - Shawn Colvin

I don’t know why
The sky is so blue
And I don’t know why
I’m so in love with you
But if there were no music
Then I would not get through
I don’t know why
I know these things, but I do

I don’t know why
The trees grow so tall
And I don’t know why
I don’t know anything at all
But if there were no music
Then I would not get through
I don’t know why
I know these things, but I do
I don’t know why
I know these things, but I do

Busy as always.  Tomorrow is my only day-off from work to recharge my batteries.  Summer classes has finally ended and on Wednesday, it will be back to the grind, for the nth time.  This is it.  I will be heading an office for the first time in my life.  I still have to transfer my stuff downstairs and clear my desk. When I was a kid, my classmates would prod me to be the leader of any group activity.  In the words of Peter Parker’s uncle, "With great power, comes great responsibility."  Finally, a popcorn movie (Spiderman) with a line or two worth remembering.

What makes life in DLSU exciting is that every new trimester is a brand new life.  The day is not over until the term is over.  I wonder where my two feet would lead me in the next school year.

Today, I finished checking my students’ final exams, gave their final grades, attended a meeting, met the new dean of the college, rushed to Robinson’s Galleria to collect the final papers of my IBS Students who are taking their OJT.  While on the way, I stopped by SM Megamall and bought a pre-owned CD of Sophie B. Hawkins’ debut album, Tongues & Tails from Odyssey for a bargain price of P175 in near mint condition.  One of the tracks in her opus is the powerful ballad, Before I Walk On Fire, which accurately summarizes how I feel at this point in my life.   Listening to it reminds me of myself when I was in 7th grade, a time in my life when I started learning the language of responsibility.

Before I Walk On Fire - Sophie B. Hawkins

I lied
I stole in the name of fear
But I won’t be silent here

Give me back my touch
Give me back my feeling
Give me everything
I wanna be your witness
I want you to believe in me

Time flies so fast.  The summer has come and gone and the rainy season has begun.  Lately, I am always left with a thing or two undone at work.  I keep a mental to-do list yet, I can barely get through with everything in my agenda.  Failure to see a dentist is one thing and my papers on hold for the PhD in Business is another.  I really don’t know if I am prepared for this task.  Today, I am scheduled to pay the P1000 confirmation fee but the weather prevented me from going to school.  Could it be a sign that I should really defer it for the 2nd term?  I am totally clueless. 

Monday marks the end of the summer term.  Finally it is over.  All I have to do is to administer the Final Exams; check the papers; record, compute and distribute their grades.  It is only now that I discovered that everyone is a slave of time.  Everyone must submit to his bidding.  On the bright side, it gives everyone something to look forward to.  However, when I got my last payslip, it seemed like I am working just to feed the government.  The tax deduction seemed out of proportion!

This past week, I was able to buy the Red Hot Chili Peppers‘ new album, Stadium Arcadium, a 2-CD of brand new material.  The said album is currently promoting the single, Dani California.  This album is comprised of 28 tracks, equally divided, into two sets namely: Mars and Jupiter.  The Red Hot Chili Peppers have long made their mark in the rock scene with hits like Under The Bridge, Californication and Give It Away among others.  In addition, I also got Pearl Jam’s self-titled album.  Most artists would start their careers with an eponymous self-titled debut, but these guys from Seattle, Washington opted to do so 14 years after the release of their critically-acclaimed album Ten.  World Wide Suicide is the first single to be culled from Pearl Jam.  It is good to hear that Pearl Jam is back given the fact that the band members are already middle-aged.  Above else, it is nice to hear new material from them that embraces where Ten, Vs., and Vitalogy took off. 

Everyone has a set of long-term goals.  Nonetheless, sometimes we look far ahead that what is essential is neglected since it is right here, right now.  I always believed that the secret to living is to take it one day at a time.  Let me share with you one of my favorite hits by Phil Collins called Everyday from his album, …Both Sides.  Listening to it reminds me that not too long ago, I was a naive teenager trying to find solace in music.  Similarly, at the age of 14, I discovered the wonderful voice of Clive Griffin, an artist based in the UK.  He gained fame as he sang When I Fall In Love with Celine Dion for the soundtrack album of Sleepless in Seattle in 1993.  His self-titled debut album was released in the same year and featured the beautiful song I Count The Minutes.  I bought his album, together with some art supplies for Art class in January 1994 from National Bookstore across Araneta Coliseum.  Sadly, his musical career is nowhere to be found or heard.  Ricky Martin even recorded his own version of this song for his 1999 first-ever English language release.  If anyone here has a CD of Clive Griffin, please drop me a line.  I am willing to buy it from you. 

Everyday - Phil Collins

‘Love can make you do things you never dreamed possible…’

Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
everyday, everyday it gets a little harder

I Count The Minutes - Clive Griffin

This world don’t turn when you’re not in my arms
The sun don’t shine whenever I’m without you
And there’s an empty space inside my heart
When you’re gone
And whenever you’re gone, it’s too long
And the waiting is driving me crazy
Baby, I’m not alive
Till you’re here by me side, oh

CHORUS

May has been finally ushered in.  As I eagerly anticipate the first May shower, the scorching heat and a busy work schedule keep me on my toes.  Honestly, I feel exhausted.  Teaching 2 summer classes has begun to take its toll today.  I woke up with my body feeling anchored to the bed.  A 30-minute break in between classes is not even enough to squeeze in time to check whether I have booger dangling from my nostrils, or just to have a drink from the fountain.  Recently, it feels like an arduous task just to catch enough time to watch Mission: Impossible 3 in Greenbelt 3 and having a haircut with a free back massage. Come lunch time everyday, I have strained vocal cords, a gurgling empty stomach and an aching body.  It is a good thing that I am almost done with the content of the syllabus, yet I haven’t even received my summer pay.  Summer classes end on May 15 and I am bound to report for work on May 17.  Classes start on May 22 and I have an office to lead.  And if these Herculean tasks are not enough, my thoughts are still divided whether I should start my PhD by then too.  I think it would be a wiser move if I defer it for the 2nd term of the school year, just to give me ample time to adjust to this new working condition I’m about to engage myself into.  Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor sang it best–COME WHAT MAY.

I promise myself that I will take a summer break in 2007.  I want to go out of the country and I am saving for it.  I saw a package tour of Malaysia for $100 (fare, food and lodging) and it sounded like a good bargain.  Seven years of working and I really need to reward myself for a job well done.  Speaking of rewards, I finally got that cabinet for my CDs.  It took me one whole Sunday to arrange my 500+ original CDs alphabetically by artist, segregate compilations from soundtracks and sort out greatest hits.  Of course, I bought the cabinet after I have paid my pension plan premium.  Settle obligations first before personal whims, I always say.  Today, while on the way home, I chanced upon LL Cool J’s new album, Todd Smith, in SM Bicutan.  His collaboration with Jennifer Lopez, Control Myself, really rocks.  The CD is enhanced and it comes with a video of the said single in QuickTime format.  Right now, I am eyeing Rihanna’s sophomore release which features the #1 hit single, SOS. 

MY AGENDA FOR NEXT WEEK:

• Revise my syllabus proposal for COMALGE (formerly COMATH1) for the incoming Freshmen.
• Watch Poseidon on Wednesday in a good theatre with good seats.   
• Buy groceries.
• Schedule an appointment with a dentist under FortuneCare.
• Buy Rihanna’s sophomore album.
• Prepare the COMCALC Final Examination.
• Administer and check Quiz #5.
• Compute prefinal grades of my students.
• Prepare lectures on the Applications of Integration to Business & Economics
• …and other transitory administrative matters

Though the lyrics of the song are quite offbeat with my blog entry.  Nonetheless, I want to share them with you.  Moulin Rouge! is one of my all-time favorite films.  Baz Luhrmann is a God!

Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i’m loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus