ERIC’S SONGBOOK

Yesterday was one of the most nerve-wracking Friday’s I ever had.  Since early morning, I have had butterflies on my stomach as to how my lounge lecture would end up.  I am not really used to discuss topics that are of descriptive in nature since I am more of a mathematically-inclined person.  Still, it went fine.  Finally, that was a load off my shoulders.  In Filipino, nabunutan ako ng tinik.  To my support staff who graciously aided me in this endeavor, you have my sincerest gratitude.

To unwind, I went to Glorietta after the light snack of ham and cheese sandwiches and cheese croquettes I ordered for my co-faculty and support staff.  I went to Tower Records and I saw this small nook which contained some CDs and cassettes on sale.  To my delight, I saw a cassette of Mike Francis’ Classics album on sale for P70 as well as a double cassette package of 80s Replay for the same price.  When I was in elementary, I would hear radios play the ballads such as Let Me In, Friends, and Dusty Road without knowing that these are hits rendered by him.  It is nice to find some rare cassettes, it makes me feel young and energetic once more.  After all, it is a way of patting myself on the head for a job well done.  For some hiphop fare, I got a CD of Chris Brown’s debut album which features the #1 smash hit Run It!

This weekend, I am still undecided whether I should go to the LaSallian Excellence Awards night in The Peninsula Manila.  I can’t believe that I am one of the finalists of The Student’s Search for Outstanding Teachers (SSOT).  I literally have poor social skills (but I am working on it).  Even though I am flattered, I finally feel that my hard work is beginning to payoff.  I don’t want to be egocentric but I always knew that I am giving my all everytime I deliver a lesson.  I am not a perfect teacher but I am a work in progress. When I was studying, you’ll never know how I struggled to make my work in the school paper be recognized, and at the least to be published.  I was a third-class reject.  It seems like they are conniving against my work.  It was a losing streak until the end. 

Thank you Lord for all the blessings.  It is a thrill just to be nominated.

Let Me In - Mike Francis

Let me in
with the flowers
don’t bring me down
I’m on the ground
Let me in
you got the power
to kill the pain
I’m feelin’ deep within

Hey! Babe
lead me through the colors of your rainbow now
you gotta understand
you got this shadow hangin’ over me
I’m not the man I used to be oh! No
my destiny is in your hands
I know your heart is sad and blue
I’m lonely too
so what’s the use it’s no excuse oh! No
you got a winnin’ hand
so honey come on
Let Me In….

A sigh of relief.  A breather.  All I need is a moment to exhale.  As one grows older, one witnesses how life unravels in front of him.  In a few days, I will be turning 27 and I thank God for His gift of life.  Another school year draws to a close and I have learned a lot along the way.  Though everything need not be smooth sailing, I always say that the joy is in the ride.

The past year, I learned to be slightly stricter.  My standards for honesty in one’s work heightened.  I also gained new friends.  I am thrown into circumstances that are new to me (i.e. sending students to the D.O. for the first time ever, teaching PRODMAN and QUATECH for the first time, etc.) but the challenge excites me.  I got a job that I like and enjoy (when I was about to throw the towel in).  Everything is a labor of love that comes from my heart.  People may appreciate it.  Some may just take it for granted.  There were also times when I felt I was bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders.  In addition, there were also times when misery is the only language my soul understood.  Nonetheless, the sun shines, in the end, even through the most turbulent storms.  Before this blog entry gets any more melodramatic than it is, I would like to thank my friends and family who really cared.  You will never know how much your friendship means to me.  At this point, let me share with you one of the tracks from one of the albums that defined my Senior Year in high school exactly 10 years ago…

Count On Me

Whitney Houston & CeCe Winans

Count on me through think and thin
A friendship that will never end
When you are weak, i will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, i will be there
Don’t be afraid
Please believe me when i say
Count on…

Chorus

Last Saturday marked the first anniversary of Dad’s passing.  My mom and I were practically busy cleaning the house as well as serving and entertaining the guests.  These exclude the gargantuan task of doing the groceries and cooking.  Only Ate Marie and her daughters were able to make it, well at least from my father’s side.  There were more neighbors than relatives.  Uncle Frank, Malou, Kuya Lito and his family came later in the afternoon.  Another year has passed and life must go on…

My cousin and bestfriend, Malou,  spent the weekend with us.  We haven’t had any good chat since New Year.  Thus, with a lazy Sunday to spare, we decided to go someplace we haven’t been before and we agreed on one: Robinson’s Pioneer along EDSA near the Boni Station of the MRT.  Travel time was no big issue.  But to our frustration Robinson’s Pioneer is too small.  In less than one hour,  anyone can mentally store the mall’s layout in his/her long-term memory.  I have finally seen a mall with no Jollibee, no McDonald’s, no Odyssey, no VideoCity/Astrovision.  But it does have 2 Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets and a National (barely a) Bookstore.  In the lighter side, I was able to get a CD of Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy in mint condition from the Robinson’s Department Store for a measly P100.00 and to think the CD was pressed in Austria.  I have been wishing for that CD since I was in Sophomore year high school.  My cousin was able to get rare cassette tapes of Kenny G’s Breathless and 2004 Grammy Nominees for P45 a piece.  Honestly, it was a good bargain.  Malou and I were planning to watch a movie, with no other recourse but to see Jet Li’s Fearless.  When we were buying the tickets, the ticketseller told us that it is in Chinese with English subtitles.  Without further ado, we declined. 

Having no planned destination, we candidly headed for Shangri-La Plaza Edsa, and alas, we were able to finally see civilization once more.  I was surprised that EDSA Central is a pirated DVD haven.  I got Good Night and Good Luck, a film directed by George Clooney for which he was nominated as Best Director in the recently concluded 78th Academy Awards.  The film was also nominated for Best Picture.  My cousin was able to get some instrumental mp3s.  We had a light snack in Burger King and I gave her a tour of Shangri-La Plaza so that she could finally overcome her acrophobia as we went as far as the 5th (or was it the 6th) floor of the mall.

Once, ten years ago, someone told me that I am a person who dwells on the past in a retreat challenging us to keep the candle burning.   I refuse to believe that.  No one completely knows what I have been through or what I am going through with my life.  After all, that was when I was still naive and ignorant to the ways of the world.  Dude, high school is not the end-all and be-all of life.  No matter how the going gets tough, Eric still keeps on going and getting tougher day by day.  As a complete testimonial to this phase of my life, I am glad to hear that some pop artists have finally come to their senses as they write songs with depth and meaning.  On the way home, my mp3 player indulged in Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten which is currently in the Billboard Hot 100’s Top 10 Singles.  Listening to this song makes me feel like I am a work in progress as it gives me a sense that there is something more to life.

I have also received messages that people are really reading my blog entries.  Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.  I didn’t know that I am getting through to other people.  Back in college, no one ever really paid attention to my work.  Everyone is busy proving their own worth that I neglected realizing my own.  As I used to say, it is equally important to surround oneself with positive and uplifting people (and drop naysayers like hot potatoes). 

Unwritten
Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

The rest is still unwritten…